"Life is 10 percent what happens to you, and 90 percent how you react to it.", I read that quote when I was 14. I remember reading it on Brainy Quote (yea right I used to spend my 'spare' time scrolling deep into that website), copy the text and paste it on the sticky notes. That is how I remember I was 14, I'm obsessed with sticky notes once I found it exist in Windows 8, and I was on 8th grade. So yea, I was 14.
That time I understand the meaning of that quote; we need to manage the way we react to things positively, instead of blaming things that already happened to us. Am I suddenly follow and apply that quote for the rest of my life? Of course not. I am not Millie Bobby Brown who already have super mature attitude in her 14. I mean have you seen her MTV Awards acceptance speech? I love you, Millie!
Anyway, I just googled it again, the quote was form Charles R. Swindoll, an author (found the full quote on the Good Read this time). He was talking about how our attitude affecting anything in our life, how what we really experience in our life is not what life has given to us but how we process to accept it. It's a simple basic communication picture; there is a stimulus, so there is a response. Sometimes we tend to forget that response is not made of a single formula. There are many factors that can affect the result of the stimulus given.
In terms of us reacting to the 'stimulus' that happens in our life, the response is our choice. It just happened to me, it's been the longest time in my life that I have too much spare time where I can't focus on doing one thing that keeping myself feel 'alive'. I've been failing job interviews and tests, receiving the feedbacks that I didn't expect, got my applications declined and of course there are many unanswered emails waiting in my sent box. At some point, I keep looking for what is wrong, with my application, with my answers on the company questions, with my thoughts on cover letter or essay, what is wrong with me?
Yea. I feel you to the bones, Moana.
Apparently, my choice of response on that cases is to have an endless (wrong) self-instrocpection that leads to me blaming myself for not being good enough to past the test, not being good enough to write an appealing applications, and many things that then lead me to have this feeling: I am not confident when I read one job qualification from a company job-advertisement. I feel like there are so many people, around my age, that have just a real good qualifications compared to myself, or maybe there are problems that I still haven't fugured out just yet, etc, etc. I already feel my brain is Riverdale story where are so many assumptions lead me to take impulsive actions (p.s.: I'm not burning my house, or ruining school fasilites, or sending threatening message to a serial killer on youtube, or killing a drug dealer in my kitchen, I'm 'just' sad, that's all. And I love Riverdale:))) It's my guilty pleasure tbh). And the point is it's bad, it causes a break out on my dear acne-prone skin, it causes a hair loss, and of course it causes many sleepless nights I spent overthinking and crying. I feel so cranky all the time.
I have been there, it's not healthy. Aye, Harry?
One day, I did a little bit of 'cleaning' on my laptop, and I found this another quote from Chelsea Fagan on The Financial Diet video that I wrote down on my sticky notes last year (I have many citations in one blog post I think I might need one separate bibliography page). The video was about things she's done in her 22, and how she grew up figured out she's not supposed to do that things, how she sees things differently in the process of her maturity.
She said, "We try so hard to find this perfect labels that we feel we can really be proud of, and really live in, then we realized that they don't even define a third of who we are. So if I can go back, I would remind myself over and over that, you know, my job status, my relationship status, my location; none of those things are who I am, they're just things I do or things I have. The race to find the definition of ourselves that fits is one of the most frustrating of the post-grad because you'll never win it. So get comfortable with just being you and realizing that what that means can change even on a day to day basis.", she got it right, right? I feel it now.
Maybe the way I response to my problems was too childish, even cruel it's like I lost the love to myself. I understand it's always okay too feel sad, but I think I crossed the 'ok line'. To feel sad or angry or disappointed is our right as human, but the reaction after those feelings is our choice, and we can choose to react different way. I sounded like I almost giving up, when I read this post back. I realized that it came the my attitude when I chose how to react to things. The stimulus was a problem, but the response doesn't always have to be a negative counter, even if the counter is back to myself. I created the burden to my heart, myself.
The journey of me fighting this scene hasn't over yet. I'm still figuring out. But this time, I will choose to feel different way towards those problems. Charles was right, choosing the right attitude as the response of any stimulus is the key. Having the right attitude lead us to see that life is bigger than what it gave to us at the moment, the right attitude lead us to see from different perspectives. As for my case, the right attitude will give me peace, and not doubting my own self.
Here to close this story, quoting the full quote from Charles R. Swindoll:
Apparently, my choice of response on that cases is to have an endless (wrong) self-instrocpection that leads to me blaming myself for not being good enough to past the test, not being good enough to write an appealing applications, and many things that then lead me to have this feeling: I am not confident when I read one job qualification from a company job-advertisement. I feel like there are so many people, around my age, that have just a real good qualifications compared to myself, or maybe there are problems that I still haven't fugured out just yet, etc, etc. I already feel my brain is Riverdale story where are so many assumptions lead me to take impulsive actions (p.s.: I'm not burning my house, or ruining school fasilites, or sending threatening message to a serial killer on youtube, or killing a drug dealer in my kitchen, I'm 'just' sad, that's all. And I love Riverdale:))) It's my guilty pleasure tbh). And the point is it's bad, it causes a break out on my dear acne-prone skin, it causes a hair loss, and of course it causes many sleepless nights I spent overthinking and crying. I feel so cranky all the time.
I have been there, it's not healthy. Aye, Harry?
One day, I did a little bit of 'cleaning' on my laptop, and I found this another quote from Chelsea Fagan on The Financial Diet video that I wrote down on my sticky notes last year (I have many citations in one blog post I think I might need one separate bibliography page). The video was about things she's done in her 22, and how she grew up figured out she's not supposed to do that things, how she sees things differently in the process of her maturity.
She said, "We try so hard to find this perfect labels that we feel we can really be proud of, and really live in, then we realized that they don't even define a third of who we are. So if I can go back, I would remind myself over and over that, you know, my job status, my relationship status, my location; none of those things are who I am, they're just things I do or things I have. The race to find the definition of ourselves that fits is one of the most frustrating of the post-grad because you'll never win it. So get comfortable with just being you and realizing that what that means can change even on a day to day basis.", she got it right, right? I feel it now.
Maybe the way I response to my problems was too childish, even cruel it's like I lost the love to myself. I understand it's always okay too feel sad, but I think I crossed the 'ok line'. To feel sad or angry or disappointed is our right as human, but the reaction after those feelings is our choice, and we can choose to react different way. I sounded like I almost giving up, when I read this post back. I realized that it came the my attitude when I chose how to react to things. The stimulus was a problem, but the response doesn't always have to be a negative counter, even if the counter is back to myself. I created the burden to my heart, myself.
The journey of me fighting this scene hasn't over yet. I'm still figuring out. But this time, I will choose to feel different way towards those problems. Charles was right, choosing the right attitude as the response of any stimulus is the key. Having the right attitude lead us to see that life is bigger than what it gave to us at the moment, the right attitude lead us to see from different perspectives. As for my case, the right attitude will give me peace, and not doubting my own self.
Here to close this story, quoting the full quote from Charles R. Swindoll:
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