January is almost ends. The month when I feel fully recharged and sooo many ideas are popping here in my head. While it's actually just a regular month's changing from December to January, but again, January have its own power to turn myself back seeing and reflecting many scenes that's been rolling for a year in my life.
Anyway, ide menulis lagi topik ini muncul ketika mulai banyak #bestnine post di Instagram, you know, the 9 most-liked-pictures-from-your-account post? Nah Januari 2016 lalu, aku sempat menulis tentang 2015 Best Twelve, generally a mood board of my monthly favorite pictures dan hal-hal apa aja yang buatku penting di tahun 2015. I missed to write the 2016 version (and I can't remember why so).
So just in case in the future I forgot what I've been thinking about 2017, here are some recap and thoughts...
So just in case in the future I forgot what I've been thinking about 2017, here are some recap and thoughts...
The beginning 2017 was super fresh! Spent the first week finishing work and last-minute-checking for KKN. Tahun ini ngerasain kalau memulai pengalaman baru itu ngaruh banget ke sikap dan cara pandang ke bulan-bulan setelahnya. And for this year, sedang deg-degan karena mau menyelesaikan tahun terakhir di kampus. In my case, berada di tempat yang sama sekali baru itu 'humbling', jadi ngerasa nggak ngerti apa-apa, dan harus segera adapt supaya bisa 'survive'. Not in an extreme way, but enough to make me feel small so I have to level up immidiately. Surprisingly, KKN di awal tahun adalah kegiatan yang tepat buat memulai tahun buat ku karena aku menghadapi banyak hal yang nggak terduga dan di luar rencana. My strict self learn something about improvisation, and it feels good after it's done.
Ngomongin KKN mulu ngga capek? Emang bahagia doang isinya? YA NGGAK LAH YA :) I even had many times arguing with my friends, but eventually I learned what's not good to continue as well. After leaving organization life for a while, baru kerasa lagi bekerja dengan banyak kepala. Diajarin lagi untuk tau kapan harus diam, kapan harus urun rembug, kapan harus urun energi. Diingetin lagi sama analogi Dumbledore Army, nggak semua orang harus jago merapal mantra yang sama, dan punya sifat yang sama, justru kalau beda-beda kontribusinya jadi lengkap.
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| kenapa q jadi dibawa-bawa? |
Setelah selesai kerja bareng banyak anggota dalam tim, tiba juga saatnya jadi lone-wolf di kampus. Sampe susah mengingat detail karena life evolve around the target of graduate from college soon. But the journey of finishing the thesis wasn't all good. Ada masa di mana aku memilih buat closing all the gates to outside worlds karena ngerasa nggak punya progress, bingung ngadepin creative block, ngerasa ketinggalan sama temen-temen yang udah duluan jalan, uninstalling some apps yang aku 'tuduh' nge-distract, sampai ngerasa salah kalau pengen have fun karena belum berhasil achieving target (I've been hard to myself, I know). I was low it's so hard for me to keep the good vibes around. I'm trying to act cool everytime people asked my progress. I fake it, I actually hate being asked cause I don't want to know other people's story. Sampai akhirnya mikir kalau semakin ngerasa sendirian dikelilingi bad vibes itu, will not bring me anywhere. So i shared it with my friends, dan ternyata banyak yang ngerasain hal yang sama, dengan kasus nya masing-masing.Ternyata dengan melihat ke luar, the good vibes started to re-appear, the fear and unnecessary anxiety was much more controlled.
And one thing I actually take for granted for overthinking that one part or college life was I missed to have a good fun, one of them is writing. Selain latihan copywriting dan writing thesis, beberapa kali cuma nulis di blog (I repeated it year after year yes) tapi baru berasa 2017 kurang me time dengan menulis setelah skripsi selesai. But always, always, the best thing about mistakes is I know what is wrong, store it to the memory so I know I don't want to recreate it in the future.
Anyway aside of those, one of the best thing happened in 2017 and I just watched on the 2nd week of January was: The Greatest Showman! I am glad this movie came out this time of the year. Because I scored it 10/10 karena dari awal duduk sampai kredit selesai, bahagia. Nonton film ini sejujurnya bikin mikir "kapan ya terakhir kali nonton film yang abis keluar bioskop tuh ada feeling warm dan senang kayak ini", padahal nonton nya aja ngga di posisi yang enak, empat dari bawah dan ngga di center dan tentunya banyak distraksi celotehan penonton lain. It's not only because my high-school-musical heart cry out so loud inside when Zac Efron's singing in that Troy-to-Gabriella-style lol pardon my cheesy-ness. But the whole package of creative and wow-ing cinematography, pleasing-to-eyes mise en scene, heart-warming angelic voices of the cast and a winning message story.
Coming back home to our true dream, to our true self. A humbling story.
If you haven't watched it just yet, go! Ngga janji akan ada overwhelming feelings kayak itu sih, maybe I was overrated but I guarantee, bahagia aja udah nonton ini film. It's a great show indeed to begin a year, 2018 is just rolling, anyway..
*The Greatest Showman OST playing on repeat*
The red line is, I think I learned to put on good things first, and the all goodness will follows. Kalaupun ada nggak baiknya, I guess the best way is feel it in a good way too.
'Twas 2017 in a nutshell.
Not all good and fun, I failed, too. But all are gems, some just needed to be polished.
The red line is, I think I learned to put on good things first, and the all goodness will follows. Kalaupun ada nggak baiknya, I guess the best way is feel it in a good way too.
'Twas 2017 in a nutshell.
Not all good and fun, I failed, too. But all are gems, some just needed to be polished.
