2014 : 1st Quarter

Wello.

Been leaving this page for months. It's not about I'm busy surviving my boat moving around deathly triangle of college -cause everyone in college are doing the same. I guess  it's a kind of peer pressure for me being surrounded by great writers, or I'm just afraid that no one likes my post. Slap me now with "who cares anyway you can post anything" mantra.

The deathly triangle

Anyway, what makes me post something tonight is a tweet posted by @nulisbuku couple days ago, "Menulis itu merapikan kenangan." Writing is tidying up memories. No there's no tissue boxes around me if you think it's a kind of sad post. I just want to share what i've been took and gave to people surround for the last 2 months. I met new people, repeated things i've done long time ago and tried the new one, I also let go of few things.

If you read my letters for #30HariMenulisSuratCinta project, you might think I'm a real inconsistent person. I failed to complete the challenge i signed my own self up. Number of the post for the challenge -minus the anonymous letters- should be 26 letters, and I'm not even reached 20. Actually I've got many spare time on February actually, because the new semester's just begun, until I knew that the movie club I joined is holding a one-week-movie-making project, the other club is about to hold a trip for photo hunting and at the end of the month I'm volunteering for Summer Exchange Fair program -I'm looking for participant, not the one who's participating.-
And suddenly all my schedule was crashed the next month and I ended up hating myself for not having a 24-hours up immune system. I enjoyed all my activity, really, but it seems like I can't give my best shot to them all. Look back to the deathly triangle; I can't have it all in college. And I forgot to stick to my own lil notes earlier this year; to write regularly. I don't even tweet anything worth. I do believe that tweeting is a warm up to write longer, don't judge.

"But every clouds has its silver lining" 

Though I'm not really good in movie making, I brought my old life back to the high school day when I didn't know what thing to put first in movie making. But I remember the feeling every time me and my friends making a movie, I'm feeling happy. Now I learned more about more-technical things, and I know it will help me going through my study. It does feel like there's a burden in your shoulder to linking anything with your study, but it helps me remind myself that the seat I'm sitting on right now is what makes me happy about college at first.

And I've got so much more from the volunteering things. So I'm working with the kids from the other majors and faculty, some of them even have been studying abroad. Heard their amazing stories inspire me a lot and I learned an important thing; students with study abroad experience are not less concern about their own country like many people said, they do care, a lot more than many teenagers who doesn't even use their vote in election day.

My silver lining is, I feel blessed because I got home late feeling exhausted almost everyday for the last 2 months. That means I'm putting myself out there, I'm doing things and did a lot of mistakes. I'm alive.

About letting go... I'm just about to add a new member in my family. A lil kitten named Greyty. Unfortunately, she died too soon because some kind of virus stroke her. I'm not a pet loving girl but having her in my house brought a good feeling, I see my my family loved her so much even I missed the way she pull my shoelace and hear her lil miaow everywhere. A weird heartwarming thing.

It's the third week now in May, I didn't realize that time flies so I assumed that I'm happy. But yes I'm tired, and really need a sweet escape ASAP. One and half a month left until this semester ends, and I suddenly remember my lecture says, "I bet you guys will shocked about this semester's result. Most students get lower GPA in second semester." when I'm writing this. So basically I'm over think about my college boat. I wish my boat won't sink.

   

I really don't know where my story leads now, told you I'm trying to tidying up memories. Besides there's a famous quotation I should write on a paper and stick it on my forehead;

"Write something today, even if it sucks."