The #100th

I have a few drafts on this blog. That means many, many times I try to let my thoughts out (or start this writing exercise), I stop.
But hi, today I wanted to let some thoughts going for a walk outside my brain.

I just knew the fact that every year, April 10th was the 100th day of the year (if you are using the Gregorian calendar, and it would be the 101st day on a leap year).

Isn't it fascinating? The fact that we already went through 2019 by 100 days?
I ain't talking about what you achieved so far, but how do you feel so far, instead.
Are you doing well? I hope so.
Despite the fact that today is the 100th day of the year, I hope everyone feels well enough inside themselves, every single day.

That's the thought number 1.

Earlier this year, in February, I read Bill and Melinda Gates' annual letter. It just opens my mind on how things are very different in everyone's head.
They talk about things that they didn't see will come, from their research, philanthropy. Every little thing that matter to someone somewhere. Every little thing that matter to them. Little things that eventually matter to us, too.

I think to myself, "I need more of this stuff. Enlightening stuff.".
I think some of us needs a different kind of fuel to be constantly learning about life.

Saved by the Quotes

"Life is 10 percent what happens to you, and 90 percent how you react to it.", I read that quote when I was 14. I remember reading it on Brainy Quote (yea right I used to spend my 'spare' time scrolling deep into that website), copy the text and paste it on the sticky notes. That is how I remember I was 14, I'm obsessed with sticky notes once I found it exist in Windows 8, and I was on 8th grade. So yea, I was 14.

That time I understand the meaning of that quote; we need to manage the way we react to things positively, instead of blaming things that already happened to us. Am I suddenly follow and apply that quote for the rest of my life? Of course not. I am not Millie Bobby Brown who already have super mature attitude in her 14. I mean have you seen her MTV Awards acceptance speech? I love you, Millie!

Anyway, I just googled it again, the quote was form Charles R. Swindoll, an author (found the full quote on the Good Read this time). He was talking about how our attitude affecting anything in our life, how what we really experience in our life is not what life has given to us but how we process to accept it. It's a simple basic communication picture; there is a stimulus, so there is a response. Sometimes we tend to forget that response is not made of a single formula. There are many factors that can affect the result of the stimulus given.

My Acne Story: About #YourBeautyRules Campaign

Hello, dear friends.

Kali ini mau nulis topik yang agak beda, kayaknya di twitter pun hampir nggak pernah ngomongin soal ini. It's not private, but it's a thing that somehow I'm not comfortable to to talk about, skin condition.

So everyone would've known (if you're my real life friends, hi) that I have acne-prone skin. It started from the day people pointed out that I would be rich if I'd mine the oils from my face. You know, junior high school (lame) jokes. I didn't mind that, actually, the oily face.

But I think the drama inside my theatre of mind started when I begin to realize that the acne-time has come, kelas delapan seingatku. So long story short, I can't remember precisely but I guess I've been friends with acnes since 2009, it's 2018 now and I'm still trying to cope with it, you do the math :)

At some points of my (teenage) life, jerawat ini pernah jadi perkara banget. Bikin insecure, bikin ngga pede, macem-macem lah. We all have that one time, I suppose. Ada beberapa pemikiran yang kemudian berubah, we'll get to that later.

2017 Best, to January's Record

January is almost ends. The month when I feel fully recharged and sooo many ideas are popping here in my head. While it's actually just a regular month's changing from December to January, but again, January have its own power to turn myself back seeing and reflecting many scenes that's been rolling for a year in my life.

Anyway, ide menulis lagi topik ini muncul ketika mulai banyak #bestnine post di Instagram, you know, the 9 most-liked-pictures-from-your-account post? Nah Januari 2016 lalu, aku sempat menulis tentang 2015 Best Twelve, generally a mood board of my monthly favorite pictures dan hal-hal apa aja yang buatku penting di tahun 2015. I missed to write the 2016 version (and I can't remember why so).

So just in case in the future I forgot what I've been thinking about 2017, here are some recap and thoughts...

The beginning 2017 was super fresh! Spent the first week finishing work and last-minute-checking for KKN. Tahun ini ngerasain kalau memulai pengalaman baru itu ngaruh banget ke sikap dan cara pandang ke bulan-bulan setelahnya. And for this year, sedang deg-degan karena mau menyelesaikan tahun terakhir di kampus. In my case, berada di tempat yang sama sekali baru itu 'humbling', jadi ngerasa nggak ngerti apa-apa, dan harus segera adapt supaya bisa 'survive'. Not in an extreme way, but enough to make me feel small so I have to level up immidiately. Surprisingly, KKN di awal tahun adalah kegiatan yang tepat buat memulai tahun buat ku karena aku menghadapi banyak hal yang nggak terduga dan di luar rencana. My strict self learn something about improvisation, and it feels good after it's done.

Ngomongin KKN mulu ngga capek? Emang bahagia doang isinya? YA NGGAK LAH YA :) I even had many times arguing with my friends, but eventually I learned what's not good to continue as well. After leaving organization life for a while, baru kerasa lagi bekerja dengan banyak kepala. Diajarin lagi untuk tau kapan harus diam, kapan harus urun rembug, kapan harus urun energi. Diingetin lagi sama analogi Dumbledore Army, nggak semua orang harus jago merapal mantra yang sama, dan punya sifat yang sama, justru kalau beda-beda kontribusinya jadi lengkap.

kenapa q jadi dibawa-bawa?

Setelah selesai kerja bareng banyak anggota dalam tim, tiba juga saatnya jadi lone-wolf di kampus. Sampe susah mengingat detail karena life evolve around the target of graduate from college soon. But the journey of finishing the thesis wasn't all good. Ada masa di mana aku memilih buat closing all the gates to outside worlds karena ngerasa nggak punya progress, bingung ngadepin creative block, ngerasa ketinggalan sama temen-temen yang udah duluan jalan, uninstalling some apps yang aku 'tuduh' nge-distract, sampai ngerasa salah kalau pengen have fun karena belum berhasil achieving target (I've been hard to myself, I know). I was low it's so hard for me to keep the good vibes around. I'm trying to act cool everytime people asked my progress. I fake it, I actually hate being asked cause I don't want to know other people's story. Sampai akhirnya mikir kalau semakin ngerasa sendirian dikelilingi bad vibes itu, will not bring me anywhere. So i shared it with my friends, dan ternyata banyak yang ngerasain hal yang sama, dengan kasus nya masing-masing.Ternyata dengan melihat ke luar, the good vibes started to re-appear, the fear and unnecessary anxiety was much more controlled.

And one thing I actually take for granted for overthinking that one part or college life was I missed to have a good fun, one of them is writing. Selain latihan copywriting dan writing thesis, beberapa kali cuma nulis di blog (I repeated it year after year yes) tapi baru berasa 2017 kurang me time dengan menulis setelah skripsi selesai. But always, always, the best thing about mistakes is I know what is wrong, store it to the memory so I know I don't want to recreate it in the future.

Anyway aside of those, one of the best thing happened in 2017 and I just watched on the 2nd week of January was: The Greatest Showman! I am glad this movie came out this time of the year. Because I scored it 10/10 karena dari awal duduk sampai kredit selesai, bahagia. Nonton film ini sejujurnya bikin mikir "kapan ya terakhir kali nonton film yang abis keluar bioskop tuh ada feeling warm dan senang kayak ini", padahal nonton nya aja ngga di posisi yang enak, empat dari bawah dan ngga di center dan tentunya banyak distraksi celotehan penonton lain. It's not only because my high-school-musical heart cry out so loud inside when Zac Efron's singing in that Troy-to-Gabriella-style lol pardon my cheesy-ness. But the whole package of creative and wow-ing cinematography, pleasing-to-eyes mise en scene, heart-warming angelic voices of the cast and a winning message story.
Coming back home to our true dream, to our true self. A humbling story.

If you haven't watched it just yet, go! Ngga janji akan ada overwhelming feelings kayak itu sih, maybe I was overrated but I guarantee, bahagia aja udah nonton ini film. It's a great show indeed to begin a year, 2018 is just rolling, anyway..

*The Greatest Showman OST playing on repeat*

The red line is, I think I learned to put on good things first, and the all goodness will follows. Kalaupun ada nggak baiknya, I guess the best way is feel it in a good way too.

'Twas 2017 in a nutshell.
Not all good and fun, I failed, too. But all are gems, some just needed to be polished.

Looking at The Alpha Female

Sabtu.

Hari di mana aku biasanya melihat lagi seminggu kemarin punya progress apa aja, milestone nya sampai di mana. Baik buat self-development, maupun hal-hal lain yang melekat dengan itu. Ujung-ujungnya sih banyak menyesal karena ini-itu, salah satunya minggu ini merasa punya creative block yang dibuat sendiri. But when bad thoughts came, the good follows. 

Di notes handphone ku, ada beberapa ide cerita yang pengen dikembangkan jadi bahan latihan nulis. Tapi ide-ide nya terbentur dengan tembok paling tinggi "lho skripsi nya belum selesai kok nulis blog?". Ketakutan ku yang bodoh karena premisnya nggak nyambung. Nulis ya nulis aja. Tapi hari ini bukan mau ngomongin itu. I've been interested in the Alpha-Female subject, why? Tell you later.

Aku suka nonton film, The Intern adalah salah satu film yang menurut aku menarik buat self-reflecting. Beberapa waktu lalu, HBO menayangkan film The Intern ini lagi. Who's never been watching this movie? If you haven't, try watch it. The Intern rilis di tahun 2015, genre nya American Comedy dengan lead actor Anne Hathaway dan Robert de Niro. Plot singkatnya 70 year old Ben (Robert De Niro) just retired from his job, and he got bored of his everyday old-man life. So when he found there's an internship opportunity at About The Fit, an e-commerce fashion start up in town, he decided to give a shot. There's where he met Jules (Anne Hathaway), the CEO of About The Fit. No they're not shared a romantic love story here, but life wisdom, I can say.

Nah, si Jules ini nih, adalah salah satu gambaran Alpha-Female, menurut ku. I really am adoring Alpha-Female figures. It's not always a picture of strong cheekbones, or a ruling speech. For me it's always been the other side of independent, smart and bold Alpha-Female, there lies big decisions in life and it always require the act of love. I just keep myself amazed on how Alpha-Female figures (in movies, and some girls / woman I've met) keep their balance in life. Di film The Intern, Jules' picturing a woman with dedication towards her dream, how she managed to run the company in her own ways and other responsibilites that follows her as a woman; in that movie as a mom and a wife, through a relax and goofy personality. And boom, somehow it's explodes, just like how Miranda (Meryl Streep) couldn't handle her tears of confussion in The Devil Wears Prada (2006). They have the gentle spot that somehow for me have been mistaken by a "woman weakness" while actually all human can be fragile as well, not just us girls.

Di film lain, banyak banget picture of Alpha-Female picture yang menurut aku "girls should look up to"; misalnya kayak tokoh Mrs. Tuohy (Sandra Bullock) di The Blind Side (2009), Skeeter (Emma Stone) di The Help (2011), Katherine-Dorothy-Mary (Taraji  P. Henson, Octaivia Spencer & Janelle Monae) di Hidden Figures (2016) or maybe these Disney Princesses like Mulan, Merida and Moana? And if many people think talking about Alpha-Female is always goes to gender equality topic, I don't think so. It's more about a fuel to drive a woman to do what she chose to live, in responsibility, in a balanced portion according to herself. For me, those Alpha-Female figures were shown for a self-reflection.

It's not that I aim to speak that girls should creating themselves one Alpha-Female shield, let's say to cover when people pointed at them "oh of course you need no man, you're an Alpha". Jadi ingat sewaktu diskusi bareng mbak Djenar Maesa Ayu dan mas Kan Lume di Pesta Film Solo #7 bulan Mei kemarin, keduanya setuju kalo ngomongin woman voice itu bukan berarti bilang kalo perempuan harus punya posisi yang higher than man kok, and anyway, it's always better when their ideas are collaborated, right? Once again, it's never about comparing this type to another type of woman or man. For me, Alpha-Female is an attitude of Queen that is capable to managed the world she lives in. Like this one poem written by Nikita Gill;

Screenshoting this from her instagram

And here I supposed to tell you why I've been interested to this subject. So actually I heard some opinions about woman being independent, performing a good leadership skill, and all in doubting voices. Some even said that those factors made Kingless-Queens. Well I think that's a different story. What makes a woman Alpha-Female Queen has nothing to do with that.

It's always been in her own self.

xx,

Av